Bees In My Bonnet Vol.1

So during my long hiatus from writing anything here, I've realized something about myself. I'm much more motivated to write when I'm annoyed, and boy is there a lot to be annoyed about lately.

So let's dive on in, shall we? (Salty language warning!)

1. Recently, a social media trend using the hashtag #idontneedfeminism has sprung up. It seems to be perpetuated largely by young white girls, who truly seem to have no concept of a) what exactly feminism is or b) that a world of injustice and inequality exists beyond the idyllic bubble of American suburbia. These young ladies take photos of themselves with signs describing all they reasons they "don't need feminism", which usually involve not wanting to upset men, or somehow being seen as "victims" of something that's never specified.  The irony that seems exceptionally lost on these ignorant little souls is that feminism is solely responsible for their ability to express these idiotic opinions in a public forum in the first place. And simply because you, privileged young white girl, feel that feminism is irrelevant to your life, please do not take that to mean that all the world's problems have been solved, and that women everywhere enjoy the same rights and freedoms as you take for granted and apparently don't give a shit about or appreciate.

When I was about to come of voting age, my mother and I sat down and had a long conversation, not just about the fact that voting in a free democracy was a privilege not to be squandered, but that as a woman, I owed the right to vote to women who fought (and suffered) long and hard before me.  And the more I looked into it, the more horrified I was at the brutality that women protesting for the right to vote were subjected to. Imprisonment, beatings, starvation, sexual assault, public humiliation....the list goes on. It humbled me considerably and made me all the more appreciative, and I promised myself I would never take the ability to vote lightly (as an awful lot of my generation seems to, unfortunately...) And then less than 100 years later, along come these spoiled, entitled assholes to spit all over that legacy. So to these young ladies, and their mothers who never taught them any better, I say fuck you. Generally, I am of the "to each their own" school of thought, but in this instance, to truly believe what these girls are professing to believe, is to be willfully ignorant and uneducated on a subject that literally allows you to live the life you live today. Learn some fucking respect.

2. Caitlyn Jenner.  While I have been pleasantly surprised by the positive reactions to Bruce Jenner's reintroduction to public life as  Caitlyn, there have been several things that have just left me...shaking my head to say the least (that ESPN Arthur Ashe Award nonsense for starters, but that's a head shaker for another time).  The following images were reposted on Facebook, by individuals I know, and certainly many more beyond that.

The first:





And this second image with the following caption: "As I see post after post about Bruce Jenner's transition to a woman, and I hear words like, bravery, heroism, and courage, just thought I'd remind all of us what real American courage, heroism, and bravery looks like!"

Now please make no mistake.  I believe providing clean energy free from dependence on a corrupt government system as Akon is helping to, and military service in all its forms, are incredibly noble and respectable things.  But they have absolutely ZERO correlation to Caitlyn Jenner whatsoever.  Caitlyn Jenner did not wake up the morning her Vanity Fair cover was to be released thinking "I sure hope this pulls focus from the struggles of disadvantaged people in West Africa" or "Gee, if only there was a way this photo could dump all over the American military community". Caitlyn Jenner did what she did so publicly to put focus on a disadvantaged group right here in the U.S (and beyond), where doing what she did constitutes an act of bravery because of ignorant and dismissive attitudes like those expressed above.  Where doing what she did not only exposes her to ridicule and tasteless jokes, but statistically makes her far more likely now to be harassed, assaulted or murdered.  Transitioning into who you want to be shouldn't have to be "brave" or "heroic" or "courageous", it should just be something people are able to do for themselves if they wish, and have everyone around them realize it's not about them in the least. And until those out there with the smallest minds and biggest mouths are able to take a step back and a hard look at their own privilege and attitudes and exactly why they feel the need to victimize those different from them, then celebrities/public figures (whomever really), undergoing gender reassignment/transitions will continue to be newsworthy. If you don't like it, feel free to ignore it, and accept that it truly has nothing to do with you, and in no way affects you personally. Because it doesn't. And you're entitled to your opinion. But don't attempt to diminish Caitlyn Jenner's gracious and brave act for the greater good (of the trans community in particular, but really of us all) by suggesting that it somehow takes anything away from other causes or issues. Because it doesn't.

Please stay tuned for more bees.

This should be profound and introspective...

....but it won't be.  I promise.  After all this time, I'm sure I should have all kinds of things to say on the circumstances of my life, but I'm not going to.  Instead I'm going to skip around and talk about things I've enjoyed lately. And maybe one more thing after that.

- the Osaka Sushi and Hibachi down the street from me.  All the spectacle and fire risk of Ichiban at a fraction of the cost. Good Asian food is hard to come by in the suburb we live in now, so this place is a godsend.

- UV Sriracha Vodka and V8 Sea Salt & Clam (both of which I've just discovered) makes the best Caesar I've had in months.  Caesars aren't the done thing here, Bloody Mary's are, and they seem to be attempting to make them a meal replacement. Tomato juice as thick as soup, topped with enough garnishes to fill up a reasonably sized old lady.  My aunt and I once stood in line at a bar behind a lady who had ordered 5 Bloody Mary's.  It took the bartender the better part of 15 minutes to finish them because they came with SEVEN garnishes. A Caesar comes with one? Two? (Mine just come with celery). It's not meant to replace whole meals.  I have a certain amount of hostility toward the Bloody Mary apparently....

- the Headspace app.  I've always had aspirations/intentions of being someone who meditates, but honestly, I'm not much of a self-starter.  There's a mountain of double-blind studies proving how beneficial it is, I've just never gotten serious about it (maybe due to my aversion to sitting on the floor...)  This app gives you a 10 minute guided meditation every day that's easy to follow.  When it's over, you feel refreshed and relaxed.  Highly recommended.

- the beautyblender sponge.  Oh my goodness.  I've been seeing this at Sephora for years and never understood why someone would pay $20 for a pink sponge.  Having said that, I've never worn liquid foundation because I knew I didn't possess the blending skills.  But Birchbox sent me one for free, and I've been absolutely hooked ever since.  It makes your face look smooth as porcelain, and it's literally foolproof, with or without blending skills.  I had no idea my face could look like that. Plus it comes with a sponge cleanser, and lasts forever.

As an aside, I'm going to say something about the current petition to get those flaxen-haired J-name Duggars and their anti-LGBTQ, anti-abortion, anti-anyone-who's-not-like-us agenda off the television.  After repeated public statements/appearances/social media posts crusading against same-sex marriage, transgender rights, and women's rights to choose, people have evidently had enough of this rhetoric, and feel that using fame gained from television to promote hatefulness is just not ok.  Their oldest son now heads up an organization called the Family Research Council, devoted to restricting the rights of anyone not subscribing to the evangelical Christian edict (that has recently been classified a hate group).  They routinely travel around the country participating in political events and actions with the same goal.  But they seem to be very, VERY careful about what they choose to say on their program, their rather more hateful side generally meticulously concealed. But here's the thing. I sincerely, truly, and 100% support the Duggars' right to believe whatever they choose.  Whoever you want to have a problem with, you are certainly entitled to your own opinions.  However you are not entitled to use those opinions to infringe on/restrict the rights of others, or promote a public campaign of fear and threats against those who don't share your beliefs (recall matriarch Michelle's attempt to convince the public that all transgender people are child predators!) The Duggars have the influence they do because they've been given a platform.  While they may not necessarily air their more controversial views on the show itself, they undoubtedly use the fame they gain there to further their agenda.  And while they may be "nice" people, with a close family, and what they regard as "good family values", other people being able to legally carry on like the rest of us takes nothing away from that.  When last I checked, the LGBTQ community wasn't forming action committees to take away people's rights to procreate to an irresponsible extent.  Make decisions and live your life in the way you see best for yourself, and leave others to do the same.

Have a wonderful weekend :)



"We cannot all succeed when any of us are held back." - Malala Yousafzai

 

 



To hell and back.

In 2012, I started doing something that has proved to be incredibly valuable (and that I recommend everyone start doing immediately).  In my Paperless list app on my iPhone, I started keeping a list I called "Wonderful Things 2012".  On it, I put all the significant and insignificant things that made my life better, or made me happy in some way.  Things as little as a movie I loved, or as big as moving into a new home.  A heartfelt and very emotional conversation I had with my best friend, reaching a big career milestone, new friends I made, trips to the beach, anything that enriched my life in some way.  At the end of the year, I looked back on it, and felt profoundly grateful for all the blessings that had come into my life.  So rather than waiting til late in the year to start one this year, I started it at the beginning of the year., and then just sat back and waited for things to put on it.  Then something happened late January that would set the tone for what has arguably been one of the most challenging and difficult years of my life, that I thought would rob me of even one thing to put on my Wonderful Things 2013 list.  And after months of not knowing whether or not to share any of this, I've decided I will.  Not because I'm looking for sympathy or pity or anything else, but because I've come out the other side of it better than I had hoped was possible at many points.  There are lots of people in my life who have yet to know the whole story about this, and I definitely didn't want anyone else asking me how things were while I was still in the middle of it.  But I'm not anymore.  So here goes.

I was getting ready to leave the house to go to the Wonderful Wedding Show in late January with my oldest friend in the world (who got married last month!).  I bent over to pick up my coat, and felt this huge jolt of pain down my right leg that actually made me cry out.  I've had a questionable back for several years now, but I'd never felt anything like this before.  It was like electricity that occasionally got turned up with no rhyme or reason.  I told myself I'd walk it off over the course of the day.  But it got worse and worse, and by the end of the day, I was desperate to get home and get off my feet.  I don't remember sleeping that night, the pain was so foreign and strange.  I decided before sunrise to take a cab to the Urgent Care down the street from me (it's literally 2 blocks away, but I knew I couldn't drive safely in my pain-addled stupor, and I wasn't capable of walking more than a few feet.)  In situations like this, it's usually a curse to be a nurse because your brain automatically panics and goes to Worst Case Scenario.  In this case, my foot was cold, pale, pulseless, the sensation was off, and I was convinced I had a DVT and needed vascular surgery. Like immediately.  It turned out I didn't have a DVT, but the doctor there couldn't tell me exactly what was wrong, but she thought it might be my sciatic nerve, so she referred me for an MRI, and gave me a couple of prescriptions.  This turn of events sent me to a new chiropractor, an acupuncturist, and resulted in my being away from work a LOT.  In nursing, we use something called a Pain Assessment Scale.  We ask patients to rate their pain on a scale from 0-10, 0 obviously being no pain, 10 being the worst pain you could imagine.  My pain for the first 6 months of this year fluctuated between about a 5 or 6 at best, up to a 10+ at its worst (although it kept finding a way to top itself). It was never gone, not even for a minute.  It was like my shadow.

Critical mass occurred in June and would result in my sitting in the Emergency Room with my mother for 14 hours.  I had got my MRI results back, stating I had 2 extruded discs in my spine that had completely displaced a nerve (not my sciatic as it turned out) that runs all the way down my leg, and basically been told by 2 different doctors that it would "resolve itself". I was in so much pain this particular day I could barely dress myself, taking a shower was out of the question, and I couldn't sit up for more than a couple of minutes at a time.  I remember my mother bringing me lunch in bed and having to eat it laying on my stomach, saying "This has got to be the lowest point yet."  It got so bad that I couldn't mentally or physically cope with the pain any more, and I told my mom we had to go to the ER.  Things were clearly not resolving themselves.  The doctor I saw in ER was the first one I had seen this year (apart from my chiropractor) who I felt took it seriously and seemed to understand just what this was costing me.  He told me no acute intervention was required, and gave me different pain medications.  They actually worked, and I could say my pain was reduced to a 3 or 4.  I actually slept.  My mother went home.  I wasn't in the debilitating pain I was, but I wasn't really able to do much of anything either. My endurance was gone.  I tried going back to work at just 4 hours at a time to start, but it was exhausting. I'd come home and collapse into bed and sleep the rest of the day.  I had no idea how I'd ever get back to working 12 hour shifts again.  I felt stuck.  And I was still on a LOT of medication, which I was deeply uncomfortable with.  The longer I was on them, the more sure I felt that I was going to have to accept that this was my life.  Pills, and pain, and barely being able to make it through things.  I was starting to lose hope, and feel like....what was the point.  If I couldn't work and this was how I was going to feel all the time, what was the purpose of my life?  And because I was thinking this way, I started to deeply fear developing what is commonly known as a "Chronic Pain Personality", a medically ambiguous term that describes a patient who tends to be difficult to deal with because of the level of pain they experience on a daily basis, and our inability in the medical community to control it.  The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory describes the most common personality characteristics of those with chronic pain as "neurotic, demanding, complaining, and exaggerative of body feelings."  Not pleasant. So I made a choice.  I wasn't going to let this defeat me entirely or take any more from me than it already had. Every day I started trying to find something to be grateful for, even if it was just a snuggle with the cat, or a nice text from a friend.  I was determined not to slide into insufferability.  I would not dig myself into a hole of isolation and misery.



Pill bottle graveyard.  This was what it took to get through this year.
Plus countless bottles of OTC ibuprofen, naproxen and Robaxacet.
 

The turning point then came in the form of my angel WCB worker, Anita, sending me for a physiotherapy assessment.  They recommended I be taken off work again for about 6 weeks to work on a reconditioning program 5 days per week.  I was relieved and excited, and almost kind of desperate too, because if this didn't work, then I'd be out of options.  Plus I knew I was hugely deconditioned and weak and that this was going to be a LOT of work.  But deep down I felt like it was going to work.  It was going to be worth it.  And it was.  I started working with a kinesiologist named Lindsay, for about an hour and a half, every single day.  It hurt, it exhausted me, but slowly it started to work.  My core got stronger and started to stabilize, and the pain was subsiding on less and less medication.  And when 6 weeks were up and it was time for me to go back to work, I could do it without passing out at the end of just 4 hours.  My hours advanced from 4 to 6 to 8 to 10, and as of about 10 days ago, I am back to work full for 12 hour shifts, and my life is essentially back to normal.  I still do my workouts 2-3 times a week, but mostly on my own, with occasional guidance from Lindsay. 

I have these moments of clarity every once in a while, when I'll do something that I'll realize was impossible 6 months ago.  Something as simple as picking up the laundry, or cooking a meal, or getting my socks on.  I had once such moment in the shower last week (the gravity of which I'm sure threw my partner who was shaving at the time for a total loop).  I recalled trying to shower before going to the ER and ending up on my hands and knees in tears after less than a minute of standing on the sloping floor of the tub.  And as I stood there last week, under the hot water, having a glorious time, I realized things have gotten so much better than I ever thought would be possible again.  And that made me realize how close I had come to giving up entirely.  Sure, the sensation in my foot will probably never be the same again (it's still pretty numb/pins & needlesy), but it's just my foot, not my whole leg, it doesn't affect my balance, and it's a small price to pay for getting my life back.  I've had some considerable support to get to this point obviously.  First and foremost from my mother, who listened to me cry and whine and yell and curse, as often as I needed to, whenever I needed to.  Who came and took such good care of me, with such immense patience and generosity.  My chiropractor Dr. Cooper, who listened to my unfiltered raging and despair up to 3 times a week, and never lost his patience or level headedness with me.  Anita from WCB, who never stopped trying to find ways to help me. And Lindsay, my determined and chin-up kinesiologist, who never allowed me to give up on myself or cheat myself out of a full recovery.  These are the kinds of people you need around you in times like those.  Who support you, and lift you, but ultimately get you to determine your own course and take responsibility for yourself.  And if you can find at least one thing every day to be grateful for, no matter how seemingly trivial, it makes all the difference in the world.  I promise.


"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

Tragedy sure does bring out the worst in some people....

This past week, Winnipeg has been shaken to its core by a horrible event in Westwood.  The details of exactly what happened will likely never be known, but the inescapable facts are that 32 year old mother Lisa Gibson, and her 2 children, 3 months and 18 months, are dead.  Her children were found in the home in critical condition, but didn't survive the trip to hospital, and Lisa Gibson disappeared for the next 3 days, until sadly her body was pulled from a nearby river.  As tragic and awful and heartbreaking as these circumstances are, what is equally as unfortunate has been some of the public reaction.  Immediately, the assumption seemed to be made that Gibson was some kind of monster who had murdered her children and run off to escape the law. The only mention of her husband at ALL to this point has been to say he was "notified at work." It never seemed to be publicly considered that Gibson herself might also be a victim in this scenario, or in danger from someone apart from herself.  Following closely on the heels of the "heartless murderer" theory, the assumption came that Gibson was suffering from postpartum depression and/or psychosis.  Facebook and the Winnipeg Free Press website have been overrun with comments such as "hopefully they find this horrible woman so those little angels can rest in peace" until the Free Press shut down comments on the story entirely.  Facebook is not so easily censored.  I came across a Facebook comment this morning that absolutely incensed me (I will not be identifying the commenter, as they are a friend of a friend): "My heart aches for the children she murdered. I have little sympathy for their mother, regardless of her inner anguish and mental state. May God have mercy on her soul.  The depth of her illness must have been unfathomable to make her do what she did. Depression explains her actions but it does not excuse them."  Clearly this individual has no understanding of "inner anguish" or depression if they feel she was in control of her actions to the point of willingly harming her children. 

The public understanding of this awful condition is clearly quite poor.  It's precisely attitudes such as these that cause women suffering during the postpartum period to remain silent and not reach out for help.  The stigma of feeling like a "bad mother" can be overwhelming, and there exist few open and supportive resources for women going through this. (Note: A girl I attended university with has begun a program to address this need. Such important work.)  Being afflicted by postpartum depression/psychosis is no more the fault of the sufferer than someone being diagnosed with leukemia.  I haven't seen society shame people with leukemia into not seeking help for their illness lately. I haven't seen anyone angrily blaming a leukemia patient for the effects of their undiagnosed and untreated illness lately.  And people may say "Well it's their fault for not getting help", but depression can be far too hard to see out of to even recognize help is needed (as with mental illness in general),  never mind when you feel like you're failing as a parent, and psychosis is....well....psychotic.  Not exactly prescriptions for rational, help-seeking behaviours.

Yvette Nicole Brown said something very poignant in regards to the Trayvon Martin case, but that I feel is so perfectly applicable here: "If your fellow man is going through something, and you can't support, comprehend, sympathize, or empathize, respectful silence is your next best choice."  And this awful tragedy has certainly shown that support and empathy in particular seem to be in short supply.  Hopefully the people that loved Lisa Gibson and her children can find some peace, and a way to shut out all rhetoric they certainly don't need at a time like this.

For Dr. Henry Morgentaler.

The news is beginning to spread that Canadian abortion activist and pioneer Dr. Henry Morgentaler passed away this morning at the age of 90.  Unlike some of his American compatriots, he was afforded the luxury of a long life, and one that should be celebrated.  I would like to share a piece of writing I did in 2008 about Dr. Morgentaler as he was about to receive the Order of Canada. I don't currently possess words any better to express my feelings about him and the work he's done.

" Dr. Henry Morgentaler has changed what it means to be a woman in Canada, and in my opinion, for the better.   I have always been shocked to know that abortion in Canada has only been fully legal only TWENTY years.  Dr. Morgentaler was hugely instrumental in legalizing this procedure and giving women a safe, dignified choice when unwanted pregnancy occurred.  Prior to this, women had to go to unqualified, back alley quacks, and often died of massive infection or hemorrhage.  Dr. Morgentaler reasoned that since women were going to attempt abortion whether or not it was legal, it was morally and ethically responsible to provide it in a knowledgeable, sterile manner.  This past week there has been a huge amount of controversy as to whether or not this man deserves to receive the Order of Canada.  A small, but incredibly vocal minority seem to feel he is a murderer and that Canada is somehow condoning murder.  Clearly this is not the case.  According to the law, the fetus is just that.  A fetus.  Not a person.  Thus the termination of same constitutes a medical procedure, not murder.  An egg is not a chicken.  A blueprint is not a building.  This is a stipulation that has both positive and negative implications, but one that must be black and white to avoid setting a dangerous precedent.

 

The lives he has saved both literally and figuratively are immeasurable in number.  Dr. Morgentaler believes every child should be a wanted child, and that carrying through with unwanted pregnancies and raising unwanted children is contributing to the general downfall of society.  He says “Well-loved children grow into adults who do not build concentration camps, do not rape and do not murder” (He himself is a survivor of Auschwitz).  I have always felt that with the reproductive and adoption options available today, there is no reason for any child to be raised in a household where they are not wanted, valued and cherished.  When you are pregnant, and have made the decision to continue with it, in my mind, you are making the commitment to be the best parent you are capable of being, and if you are not able to make this commitment you shouldn’t even consider raising a child.

As a woman growing up in a different era from my mother, with different options available to me, I cannot fathom what life used to be like for women who found themselves "in trouble", annd I know it is as a result of this man that this is a reality I will never know.  I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge an incredible human being for his hard work, dedication, and substantial sacrifice to a cause that makes an invaluable difference to women in this country every single day.  I can think of no contribution that makes an individual more deserving of the Order of Canada."

 

Froth and frills. You know...nothing that matters :)

2 weekends ago, my bff and I headed out to see a movie. It's a bit of a slow time for movies, so we settled on Jack the Giant Slayer (which turned out to be in 3D!). Visually, it was amazing. Content wise....meh. It was a movie. Not great, not terrible.  The plot was a little thin, the characters fairly undeveloped.  We sat there as the credits rolled, and pondered what the cost of making this kind of movie must have been.  So we looked it up on Wikipedia.  The budget for Jack the Giant Slayer was $195 million.  3 weeks in, it's only made $92 million worldwide (I'm not saying $92 million isn't a lot of money, I'm saying it still represents a $103 million dollar loss).  We couldn't help but speculate, having seen the movie, who the target audience was supposed to be....It was far too scary to take small children to, and while I could be way off base on this, I don't think adults have been clamouring for a big screen interpretation of Jack & the Beanstalk.  It doesn't have the cult-type following of say, Alice in Wonderland or The Wizard of Oz (which, with a budget of $215 million, in 2 weeks has already made $292 million), where lots of adults would see it regardless.  It was just a little perplexing, I guess....

I don't know why more people haven't been talking about it/watching it, but Fox (of all things) has turned out one of the most amazing shows on network television in...a long, long time.  The Following comes on on Monday nights, stars Kevin Bacon (a man weasel-like in appearance, but with the most striking eyes ever), and is IN-CREDIBLE.  It's a serial, so you do need to watch from the beginning, but it's definitely worth getting into.  The characters are amazingly complex, and you're nearly always left not knowing how to feel.  There are periods of the show where EVERY episode has the tension and excitement of a season finale. I don't know how long a show like it can be sustained, but probably at least 2-3 seasons. I definitely recommend it.

I was re-watching Django Unchained the other day, and considering Christoph Waltz's Oscar win for same.  While his performance really is fantastic, it strikes me that his character is pretty much the same keel the whole way through the movie.  And in lots of ways, bears striking resemblance to his other Oscar winning role in Inglorious Basterds.  Amusing, composed, devious, tongue-in-cheek guy.  Leonardo diCaprio, on the other hand, gave what I thought was an incredibly moving, exciting and unpredictable performance, and wasn't even nominated.  I mean, you'll never see him in a movie and think his acting was weak.  But I thought this was one of the better performances I've ever seen him give....(just to mention, this clip has some language in it...depending on your definition of "language")

Several years ago, Scruples stopped making the spray I used to straighten my hair.  This was a bummer because I have preternaturally thick AND oily hair, so it takes me a solid hour to straighten it out, and it tends to get insufferably oily by the next day.  The Scruples was the only product I'd tried that didn't make the problem worse.  So I began a long and arduous search for a new product, and after frustrating the gals at Chatters to no end and making several returns, I settled on KMS Flatout Hot Pressed Spray.  And I've been using it ever since.  But at $17 for 7 oz, it's slightly pricey.  On a whim a couple of weeks ago, I picked up Tresemme Keratin Smooth Heat Protection Shine Spray at Walmart for like...$4-5 for 8 oz.  And honestly, it's amazing.  Like better than the KMS.  It leaves your hair crazy soft and shiny without making it greasy.  I rarely find recommendations for drugstore brands to "replace" salon or name brands to be very credible, but I completely stand behind this one (however, NEVER bother with Tresemme's dry shampoo. It's awful. Suave makes a superior one.)

By the by, I think Kate Middleton is having a boy.

My most recent obsession has become the British annual TV event Big Fat Quiz of the Year.  It's hosted by Jimmy Carr, and is basically a panel quiz show about the year's events.  As I have been laid up recently, I've had all kinds of time to just catch up on stuff I didn't know I was behind on!  Last year's was hilarious (Jack Whitehall and James Corden = fantastic), but any year that has Russell Brand and Noel Fielding is classic.  Jonathan Ross is nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is.

To finish out a very shallow posting, I will leave you with the new Fall Out Boy single, which is already a frontrunner for my favorite song of 2013.  I don't know where they've been but I'm glad they're back :)  The video's not great, the song is gold.

"Don't be afraid of missing opportunities.  Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed." - Lily Tomlin

"Hippos" and emeralds and puppies, oh my!

Hello beautiful flowers.  I know it's been a long time since I've posted.

Last week, in reviewing Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman's new movie Identity Thief, Rex Reed of the New York Observer, managed to work in a number of personal attacks on McCarthy's appearance, that were swiftly rubuked as being cruel, unfair and unneccesary.  And they should have been. Calling an actress doing a job "hippo" and "tractor-sized", among other things, is totally unacceptable and disgusting.  When Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl churn out another of their cringe-inducing romantic "comedies", is their physical appearance a focal point of the reviews?  No.  Nor should it be. Melissa McCarthy doesn't seem to have a problem playing her size for laughs.  That's her prerogative, but it's her call.  Now Rex Reed has the gall to attempt to defend his remarks, but basically comes off as a concern troll, purporting to point these "observations" out for the good of McCarthy's health and all of his very, very serious concerns regarding obesity.  He then has the audacity to pat himself on the back for the movie's decent opening weekend performance, saying his comments are what got butts in the seats, and that McCarthy remaining silent on his bullshit comments shows she's "completely classy."  Melissa McCarthy is aware she's a woman of size.  She's constantly being asked about it, and is constantly forced to publicly acknowledge it.  She doesn't need some small-minded asshole feigning concern about her health as an excuse to take potshots at her.  There are so few people of size successfully working in Hollywood as anything other than "jolly best friend" or "supporting character obsessed with food".  Can we not, as the media-consuming public, just let a few of them have their careers AND their dignity?? Does it have to be one or the other?  I don't think so.  This season on SNL, a comedian named Aidy Bryant joined the cast as a feature player, and while she's a larger woman, they don't play that for laughs, or even acknowledge it as being "different". She simply is given material as any other cast member.  And it doesn't even look difficult!

Last year I took exception to Pantone's declaration of tangerine as Color of the Year for 2012.  It was all for naught, as I never saw it anywhere.  This year's choice of emerald, in my opinion, is far superior.  Not JUST because I look ravishing in green, even if it's not my favorite.

As is my habit, I watched the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show again this year.  And I loved it like I do every year.  One of these days I really ought to get myself a small dog and a pantsuit and practice my slow run.  Anyways...this year's winner was a spunky little Affenpinscher named....wait for it... Banana Joe.  Jeebus.  If that isn't the best name ever, I don't know what is.  His handler was clearly thrilled and said some adorable things like "You don't train an Affenpinscher, you befriend him."  I adore photos that personify love, and this (in my opinion) is one of them :)

This was the first year Jack Russell terriers were shown, and oh my.  Cute city.

Anyways, that's about all right now...Hope you all have a wonderful week, thank you for reading :)


"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy

Year End Wrap-Up

So this was a big year for me in some ways. I am finishing the year in a different job and in a different home than I began it in, and generally, I am very happy with both of these things. 

Favorite Things 2012

- the London Olympics.  This was definitely my favorite thing of the year.
- that Barack Obama won the election.
- finally getting a smartphone.  That shit is life changing.
- the ribs at Swiss Chalet.  Who knew???
- Ikea coming to Winnipeg.  And Famous Dave's.

Favorite Songs 2012

- Some Nights: Fun.  Hands down my favorite.
- Call Me Maybe: Carly Rae Jepsen
- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Taylor Swift (dammit that girl puts out some catchy stuff)
- Girl On Fire: Alicia Keys
- I Love It: Icona Pop
- Diamonds: Rihanna

Favorite Movies 2012

- Hunger Games
- Ted (I never expected to enjoy anything from Seth Macfarlane)
- 21 Jump Street
- Safety Not Guaranteed (kind of hipster, but definitely charming)

Favorite New Shows 2012

- New Girl
- Ben and Kate

Stuff I'm Looking Forward To

- Target!!
- Django Unchained, The Hobbit, This Is 40, the next Hunger Games movie


I guess I don't have as much to say about this year as I did about last year!  Hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, and fulfilling 2013.  All the best :)



Settling dust

So after a crazy, hectic, stressful, and expensive October, I am moved and basically settled into my new place.  And it's perfect.  There's still more furniture I need, and I have nothing up on the walls, but things are good.  I am left wishing I hadn't waited so long to move.

Ikea is going to open it's first store in Winnipeg this week, and though I am an enormous fan of cheap modular furniture, kooky wall art and kitchen gadgets, I just can't bring myself to consider going the first couple months.  Even though I actually need furniture.  In Vancouver, we used to love going to Ikea, either in Richmond or Coquitlam.  And they were both always packed to the gills, any time of the day, any day of the week.  In places that are NOT decidedly cheap and bargain crazy like Winnipeg.  This city gets on the novelty of a new chain like Lindsay Lohan on her car keys after a bottle of Jack and a half dozen Vicodin.  When Swiss Chalet opened back up here again last winter, people were lined up into the parking lot in -20 something weather on a Wednesday night at 9.  For chicken.  It's....kinda sad.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have partnered with the province to produce a media campaign this month for domestic violence awareness.  It's a series of videos (my favorite starring my imaginary boyfriend Glen January) aimed at men, encouraging them to look at domestic violence as a men's issue, and not to be passive bystanders where domestic violence exists.  I am always appreciative of awareness campaigns that are aimed at those who are the most common perpetrators of crime (usually, but not always, men), not the victims or potential victims (usually, but not always, women).  Domestic violence campaigns should be aimed at men and changing patterns of behaviour, not at women telling them how to make escape plans and how to find legal advice (these things are obviously important, but don't fix the root of the problem: a violent individual).  Rape campaigns should be aimed at men and recognizing when things have gone too far and consent hasn't been given, not at women telling them to dress like nuns and abstain from alcohol and never let on that they might enjoy their sexuality.  This government PSA from England is incredibly difficult to watch, but is also incredibly effective and properly targeted.  Accountability for one's own actions is something I think is sorely lacking from the public discourse in regards to these issues.

I love Anthony Bourdain.  I don't remember when it started, but it's been going on for years.  I've read nearly all his books, I'm an avid follower of his TV shows, both No Reservations and The Layover, and will likely follow him to CNN for his new show there.  He's arrogant and rude and often fairly drunk, but he's also earnest and respectful and I have never seen him turn up his nose at something offered to him, no matter what or where.  In the episode he spends in Northern Quebec, some Inuit men take him out seal hunting, and when they return with their kill, the whole family sits around the seal on the kitchen floor, they cut into it, and eat it raw.  They offer Tony the eyeball, as he is the guest, and he doesn't so much as hesitate.  He takes it, pops it in his mouth, swallows and manages not to barf.  I have huge admiration for this.  However, I was watching the episode he did from the Vietnam central highlands last year, and something about it has stuck right in my craw.  He goes to visit some remote hill tribes, still practicing a more traditional way of life.  He takes his cameras there, he films whatever he sees.  And then proceeds to take issue with the fact that there are other white people there doing the same thing.  It went something along the lines of "The American military invaders are long gone, having been replaced by another kind of invader."  He then cuts to a shot of white tourists sitting on the floor of a hut, listening to a couple play instruments and sing.  Evidently, this particular tribe has been courting the tourist dollar with cultural displays and shows.  Tony goes on to say "The tourists come, they spend, they leave.  But what do they take with them?", the implication being that tourism is intractably affecting traditional ways of life, and that what the tourists "take with them" is culture and identity.  Which it may be.  It may not be.  But it sounds as though this is a choice the locals have made.  They are not obliged to be hospitable or accomodating to tourists, but they are clearly taking steps to promote and solicit it.  And is that not their right?  Because their "traditional ways of life" have lasted longer than others, are they obligated to maintain them forever, never changing or adapting?  And if Mr. Bourdain were truly so concerned with the exposure to outsiders these people are enduring, he might consider doing something besides putting them and their community on international TV.  What is he doing besides "coming, spending and leaving"??  Get off your high horse, asshole.


Anyways, that's just about all the ranting I've got in me for tonight.  Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week :)

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein

The home stretch

Between the ages of 18 and 23, I moved around a LOT.  Off the top of my head, I'd say....around.....12 times.  No joke.  I didn't even always have a home for all of that (those parts were spent traveling, not being tragic). Moving didn't seem like a big deal, and I never felt really settled anywhere, so I didn't mind.  Then about 6 and a half years ago, I leased my current apartment, and have spent the meantime becoming almost too settled in my own little corner of the world.  The apartment was dirt cheap when I moved in, much bigger than what I had moved from, I loved my neighbourhood, and my neighbours were wonderful.  But flash forward to now, and while I still love the neighbourhood, the apartment is smaller than I'd like, the rent has increased by 60%, and lots of the wonderful neighbours have moved out and been replaced by inconsiderate, obnoxious Beavis-es.  So that being said, it's time to move.  Which in this city (with it's approximately 0.7 percent apartment vacancy rate) means converting to a somewhat feral, honey-badger-like state.  There's no seeing an apartment, and then thinking a couple of days before applying, you have to be ready to move on it right then.  I'm going to see a few places this week that I'm hopeful about, but in the back of my head I have this feeling that everything will just turn out as it's meant to.  The place I'm meant to have is the place I'll get.  

I'm thus far underwhelmed with the new fall TV.  There were a bunch of shows I was excited to watch, and they've all turned out to be....shows I don't want to watch more than once (Mob Doctor, Partners, 666 Park Avenue, The Mindy Project-I had had particularly high hopes for that one.) Even the season premieres of shows I already love were disappointing (Parks & Rec, The Simpsons, New Girl).  I still have World Without End on the PVR, unwatched.  I'm afraid if I watch it, the whole fall season will be a wash.  Then I would have to like...read.  Or get hobbies.  Or something.

So, I have kind of a thing for older men.  I have as long as I can remember.  Sean Connery is a perennial favorite (pun intended?).  But Liam Neeson....oh my.  How he's 60 years old, I will never understand.  And it was for charity!  And he smells good!

 
Now for the political snippets!  Everyone's favorite!

- Justin Trudeau announced last week that he will run for the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada.  I think he might be the only one who can bring them back from the brink of obscurity.  I also think a resurgence of the Liberals is in the Canadian political best interest.  The more we become an NDP/Conservative dichotomy, the more we risk an "us vs. them" mentality, and becoming a divided nation like our beloved neighbours to the south.  Some TV political analyst pointed out that older people will vote for him because they remember his dad, and that younger people will vote for him because he's young and smiley.  Win-win.

- Speaking of which, some plucky Conservative asshole decided to open up a large and unnecessary can of worms by proposing to study feasibility of changes to the Criminal Code regarding when a fetus can be considered a "person", which by extension, could obviously threaten a woman's right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.  It was struck down, fairly conclusively (203-91), but the fracking Minister for the Status of Women voted FOR it.  I'm frankly surprised this petition calling for her resignation only has 6100 signatures.

Anyways, I think that's about all.  For now.  Hope everyone is enjoying this gorgeous fall week :)




"That thing between your legs only turns into an elbow if you let it"

Post-Olympic Withdrawal (or How I Learned to Live Without a Constant Barrage of Sporting Events)

Deep breath.....big sigh.....So the London 2012 Olympics are officially over, and I'm a little bit heartbroken.  It's only been a day and I miss it soooooo much!  I woke up this morning and had zero reason to turn the TV on.  No excitement or news about medals or crashes or drama.  TSN was showing something about fishing, and a man appeared to be trying to make a fish ejaculate (he was rubbing it, stuff came spurting out, I don't wanna know).  I nearly cried.  It was awful.  The Olympics are such an inspiring, amazing, emotional, magical time (for me anyways.  I'm aware some people couldn't give a crap if they were paid to).  The following is just a collection of random reflections.  They don't tie together to form a cohesive whole.  I promise :)

I was disappointed with the selection of Christine Sinclair as Canada's flag bearer for the closing ceremonies.  I understand I am almost certainly in the minority here, but I just still feel her class and leadership were lacking after that loss to the U.S.  If I was Rosie MacLennan, Canada's LONE WINNER OF A GOLD MEDAL, who comported herself with nothing but sweetness and class throughout the Games (and incidentally, someone NOT under investigation and pending discipline from her governing body), I'd be pissed.  Except I think Rosie MacLennan is probably far nicer than me, and definitely too nice to think this way.

Speaking of lone gold medals, there has been speculation in the media about Canada's performance at the London games, and why there weren't more gold medals.  Well, it's likely because the most we've had at any single games in the past 20 years has been 3.  We're not a summer games nation, though apparently there are steps being taken to change this.  In the run-up to the Vancouver 2010 Olympics, Canada launched a program called "Own The Podium", an umbrella program intended to groom and develop athletes to get to the top of their respective sport, through greater funding and access to resources such as nutritionists, physical therapists, coaches and specialists, sports psychologists, etc.  It has received some credit for Canada's earning more gold medals than any other nation at Vancouver 2010.  It is now under some scrutiny for the lack of gold medals in London.  But I think some very important stories get lost in the disappointment about a lack of hardware.  All the athletes who set personal bests, or even defied the odds to merely compete in their events at all.  The women's gymnastics team finished 5th in the team competition, the highest ever, behind gymnastic powerhouse nations such as the U.S, China, Russia, and Romania.  Pretty amazing.  Damien Warner, Canada's entry into the men's decathlon, set personal bests in ALL TEN EVENTS.  He finished 5th overall, but what more could anyone possibly ask from him?  Paula Findlay, a triathlete who was a gold medal threat until an unfortunate injury last year, competed in London and despite being in obvious pain, completed the entire race.  She finished 52nd out of 52 competitors, but she finished.  On a bad hip.  No one watching her cross the finish line could be anything but inspired and amazed.  So the medal count most certainly doesn't reflect the performance of the Canadian Olympic team as a whole.  Nor will the medal count be hastily fixed by a quick injection of cash.  If Canada wants better results, they have to be prepared for a long term investment.

Something else I got to thinking about while watching the Olympics as the events wore on, was the idea of what constitutes a sport.  During both the synchronized swimming and rhythmic gymnastics competitions, watching these smiling, sparkling, heavily made-up girls doing breathtaking and acrobatic feats, I started thinking, anything based so much on aesthetic, and that comprises an artistic score component, is likely not a sport.  Which is not to take away from the incredible athleticism and skill these girls possess, or to suggest what they do isn't unbelievably difficult.  Because it is.  But are they sports where you should be able to win a medal over someone else because you looked prettier displaying your incredible athleticism?  In a word, no.  They are not.  In the same way dance, or yoga, or cheerleading are not sports.  Are they difficult?  Of course!  Do you need to be super fit and skilled?  Absolutely.  But they're not sports.  Thus I'm not sure I agree with their inclusion in the Olympics.

I don't have a real talking point to what I'm about to say other than just to make mention of it.  Women accounted for fully 50% of Canada's medals at the Olympics this time, and I hope this in some way encourages little girls to get (and stay) involved with sports.  I was hugely involved in sports in high school, and it's just so hugely beneficial in the right environment.

In watching the opening ceremonies 2 weeks ago, there was a very, very small group that marched in under the Olympic, rather than a national, flag, and it sparked a great deal of curiousity.  They were termed "Independent Olympic Athletes", who came from nations whose Olympic Committees were either dissolved, or in the case of Guor Marial, a marathon runner from South Sudan, not yet formed.  It's a truly inspirational story amongst many at the Olympics, and is just such a shining example of perseverance and principle.  I had said to my mother while we were chatting about the Olympics that I have NO idea what constitutes a good marathon time, or if he had any chance of contending for a medal, but I said it would just be lovely if he was able to finish.  And he did, in 47th place, with a time of 2:19:32.  Awesome.

Also, I LOVED the Spice Girls at the closing ceremonies.  That was about all I loved, but I loved it a lot.

Hope you all have a wonderful week, and are dealing with your post-Olympic existence as best you can :)

Gasp! Olympic disappointment!

I realize what I'm about to say could be slightly polarizing, but here it is. As a Canadian, and a huge Olympic fan, obviously I was disappointed by the results of the women's soccer game against the U.S.  We're not known as a strong soccer nation (yes, yes hockey is more our thing), and the ladies scrapped their way all the way to that semi-final game.  What made it even worse was losing it to the U.S, which we kinda hate.  And unfortunately, we lost in concert with some questionable officiating.  What was even more disappointing than all of this, was the reaction of the Canadian team (and coach) in the media.  Anyone who watched that game or knows soccer knows some of the calls made against Canada were shady.  The players know they were shady.  Other officials I'm sure found them less than legitimate.  But there is nothing to be gained by alluding to the media that the game was fixed and the result soooooo unfair.  It's not how internationally competitive athletes deal with adversity, and it makes the team look like whining, sour-grapes, poor losers.  Bitching to the media will not get the result overturned, or suddenly move you forward to the gold medal game, or send a big neener-neener the way of the US.  If the questionable calls had gone the other way, would you be wondering out loud later if the match was rigged?  No.  You'd be saying you worked hard and earned your victory. Christine Sinclair even went so far as to sarcastically criticize the referee's conduct as being "real classy." Oh the irony is so delicious it must be fattening. Of course emotions were high, and the disappointment was huge.  We all felt it.  The team poured their heart into that game, and Christine Sinclair was masterful, scoring all 3 of Canada's goals.  But leave the naked speculation to people in the stands, or in their living rooms.  Members of the Canadian team now face possible discipline from FIFA, soccer's governing body, but after they play the bronze medal game against France.  It was a poor day for sportsmanship as it reflected on our country, the consequences of that remain to be seen I suppose.

 

Just like Christmas :)

We have come upon Miz Becca's very favorite time of year (well, technically every 2 years): The Olympics.  Summer or winter, I love them both, there are just more events I get excited about in the summer ones. My personal favorites are gymnastics, beach volleyball, synchronized diving, trampoline, water polo, and swimming (though towards the end of the week, one truly has had enough of it).  My least favorite stuff to watch includes boxing (my grandmother would be so disappointed), cycling of any variety, but particular the long distances, tennis, and equestrian (I'm sure just because I don't understand it).  Racewalking makes me want to wet my pants, it's so hilarious to watch.  Which is not to suggest I think there's not a HUGE amount of athleticism involved in it (these people walk MUCH faster than a lot of people jog), they just look like a cluster of Gumbies while doing it.  And the color commentary is to DIE for ("What a brilliant display of walking!!!!").  Anyways I'm currently too engrossed in the men's 10,000 metres to write something as involved as I would normally do in this circumstance, so I've elected to go with a bullet-point list (in no particular order) of things that have particularly plucked my Olympics heartstrings:

- watching the women's 10,000 metres and seeing the Ethiopians and Kenyans start to lap the white people (this was more amusing than heartwarming)

- the first gold won by a Canadian athlete, Rosie McLennan on the trampoline. Such a sweetheart.

- the amazing finish by the Canadian women's gymnastics team.  They've never qualified for a team final before, and they finished 5th. Amazing.

- the fact that there's a Chinese trampolinist named Dong Dong.  For real.

- Gabby Douglas winning the all around gold medal in women's gymnastics. A fierce competitor, and a smile that could light up the world.  

- This Ryan Lochte article.

- Jessica Zelinka's abs.  And arms.  Seriously.

 - the Canadian women's soccer team putting on such an amazing show, even knocking out the hosting British.


- the Royal family showing up at SO many events!  I love William and Kate, they've so put a new and improved face on the Royal institution.

- South African swimmer Chad Le Clos' father giving this interview to the media. It just really reminds you how many people support and love and sacrifice for the athletes who end up competing in the Olympics.


- CTV's Difference Maker video about Dylan Armstrong and his Russian coach Anatoly Bondarchuk.  They were making dinner together, Dylan making this huge plate of roasted vegetables, and his coach taking a steak, dousing it in vodka and cooking it almost black.  A little too Russian lol


- 80,000 people singing along to God Save The Queen as Jessica Ennis won her gold medal in women's heptathlon.  Goosebumps.

- South Africa's Oscar Pistorius not only competing, but advancing in, the men's 400 metres. It's so remarkable, and he's so patient and sweet continually answering the same bloody questions from the media over and over again.

 

- And perhaps my favorite of all, US swimmer Nathan Adrian.  I don't see what all the fuss about Ryan Lochte is.

 This is in no way everything amazing I've seen or read about, but it's the highlights so far.  I hope you are all enjoying the Olympics and getting swept up in your respective country's fervent nationalism for another week ;)