This past week, Winnipeg has been shaken to its core by a horrible event in Westwood. The details of exactly what happened will likely never be known, but the inescapable facts are that 32 year old mother Lisa Gibson, and her 2 children, 3 months and 18 months, are dead. Her children were found in the home in critical condition, but didn't survive the trip to hospital, and Lisa Gibson disappeared for the next 3 days, until sadly her body was pulled from a nearby river. As tragic and awful and heartbreaking as these circumstances are, what is equally as unfortunate has been some of the public reaction. Immediately, the assumption seemed to be made that Gibson was some kind of monster who had murdered her children and run off to escape the law. The only mention of her husband at ALL to this point has been to say he was "notified at work." It never seemed to be publicly considered that Gibson herself might also be a victim in this scenario, or in danger from someone apart from herself. Following closely on the heels of the "heartless murderer" theory, the assumption came that Gibson was suffering from postpartum depression and/or psychosis. Facebook and the Winnipeg Free Press website have been overrun with comments such as "hopefully they find this horrible woman so those little angels can rest in peace" until the Free Press shut down comments on the story entirely. Facebook is not so easily censored. I came across a Facebook comment this morning that absolutely incensed me (I will not be identifying the commenter, as they are a friend of a friend): "My heart aches for the children she murdered. I have little sympathy for their mother, regardless of her inner anguish and mental state. May God have mercy on her soul. The depth of her illness must have been unfathomable to make her do what she did. Depression explains her actions but it does not excuse them." Clearly this individual has no understanding of "inner anguish" or depression if they feel she was in control of her actions to the point of willingly harming her children.
The public understanding of this awful condition is clearly quite poor. It's precisely attitudes such as these that cause women suffering during the postpartum period to remain silent and not reach out for help. The stigma of feeling like a "bad mother" can be overwhelming, and there exist few open and supportive resources for women going through this. (Note: A girl I attended university with has begun a program to address this need. Such important work.) Being afflicted by postpartum depression/psychosis is no more the fault of the sufferer than someone being diagnosed with leukemia. I haven't seen society shame people with leukemia into not seeking help for their illness lately. I haven't seen anyone angrily blaming a leukemia patient for the effects of their undiagnosed and untreated illness lately. And people may say "Well it's their fault for not getting help", but depression can be far too hard to see out of to even recognize help is needed (as with mental illness in general), never mind when you feel like you're failing as a parent, and psychosis is....well....psychotic. Not exactly prescriptions for rational, help-seeking behaviours.
Yvette Nicole Brown said something very poignant in regards to the Trayvon Martin case, but that I feel is so perfectly applicable here: "If your fellow man is going through something, and you can't support, comprehend, sympathize, or empathize, respectful silence is your next best choice." And this awful tragedy has certainly shown that support and empathy in particular seem to be in short supply. Hopefully the people that loved Lisa Gibson and her children can find some peace, and a way to shut out all rhetoric they certainly don't need at a time like this.
