Tragedy sure does bring out the worst in some people....

This past week, Winnipeg has been shaken to its core by a horrible event in Westwood.  The details of exactly what happened will likely never be known, but the inescapable facts are that 32 year old mother Lisa Gibson, and her 2 children, 3 months and 18 months, are dead.  Her children were found in the home in critical condition, but didn't survive the trip to hospital, and Lisa Gibson disappeared for the next 3 days, until sadly her body was pulled from a nearby river.  As tragic and awful and heartbreaking as these circumstances are, what is equally as unfortunate has been some of the public reaction.  Immediately, the assumption seemed to be made that Gibson was some kind of monster who had murdered her children and run off to escape the law. The only mention of her husband at ALL to this point has been to say he was "notified at work." It never seemed to be publicly considered that Gibson herself might also be a victim in this scenario, or in danger from someone apart from herself.  Following closely on the heels of the "heartless murderer" theory, the assumption came that Gibson was suffering from postpartum depression and/or psychosis.  Facebook and the Winnipeg Free Press website have been overrun with comments such as "hopefully they find this horrible woman so those little angels can rest in peace" until the Free Press shut down comments on the story entirely.  Facebook is not so easily censored.  I came across a Facebook comment this morning that absolutely incensed me (I will not be identifying the commenter, as they are a friend of a friend): "My heart aches for the children she murdered. I have little sympathy for their mother, regardless of her inner anguish and mental state. May God have mercy on her soul.  The depth of her illness must have been unfathomable to make her do what she did. Depression explains her actions but it does not excuse them."  Clearly this individual has no understanding of "inner anguish" or depression if they feel she was in control of her actions to the point of willingly harming her children. 

The public understanding of this awful condition is clearly quite poor.  It's precisely attitudes such as these that cause women suffering during the postpartum period to remain silent and not reach out for help.  The stigma of feeling like a "bad mother" can be overwhelming, and there exist few open and supportive resources for women going through this. (Note: A girl I attended university with has begun a program to address this need. Such important work.)  Being afflicted by postpartum depression/psychosis is no more the fault of the sufferer than someone being diagnosed with leukemia.  I haven't seen society shame people with leukemia into not seeking help for their illness lately. I haven't seen anyone angrily blaming a leukemia patient for the effects of their undiagnosed and untreated illness lately.  And people may say "Well it's their fault for not getting help", but depression can be far too hard to see out of to even recognize help is needed (as with mental illness in general),  never mind when you feel like you're failing as a parent, and psychosis is....well....psychotic.  Not exactly prescriptions for rational, help-seeking behaviours.

Yvette Nicole Brown said something very poignant in regards to the Trayvon Martin case, but that I feel is so perfectly applicable here: "If your fellow man is going through something, and you can't support, comprehend, sympathize, or empathize, respectful silence is your next best choice."  And this awful tragedy has certainly shown that support and empathy in particular seem to be in short supply.  Hopefully the people that loved Lisa Gibson and her children can find some peace, and a way to shut out all rhetoric they certainly don't need at a time like this.

For Dr. Henry Morgentaler.

The news is beginning to spread that Canadian abortion activist and pioneer Dr. Henry Morgentaler passed away this morning at the age of 90.  Unlike some of his American compatriots, he was afforded the luxury of a long life, and one that should be celebrated.  I would like to share a piece of writing I did in 2008 about Dr. Morgentaler as he was about to receive the Order of Canada. I don't currently possess words any better to express my feelings about him and the work he's done.

" Dr. Henry Morgentaler has changed what it means to be a woman in Canada, and in my opinion, for the better.   I have always been shocked to know that abortion in Canada has only been fully legal only TWENTY years.  Dr. Morgentaler was hugely instrumental in legalizing this procedure and giving women a safe, dignified choice when unwanted pregnancy occurred.  Prior to this, women had to go to unqualified, back alley quacks, and often died of massive infection or hemorrhage.  Dr. Morgentaler reasoned that since women were going to attempt abortion whether or not it was legal, it was morally and ethically responsible to provide it in a knowledgeable, sterile manner.  This past week there has been a huge amount of controversy as to whether or not this man deserves to receive the Order of Canada.  A small, but incredibly vocal minority seem to feel he is a murderer and that Canada is somehow condoning murder.  Clearly this is not the case.  According to the law, the fetus is just that.  A fetus.  Not a person.  Thus the termination of same constitutes a medical procedure, not murder.  An egg is not a chicken.  A blueprint is not a building.  This is a stipulation that has both positive and negative implications, but one that must be black and white to avoid setting a dangerous precedent.

 

The lives he has saved both literally and figuratively are immeasurable in number.  Dr. Morgentaler believes every child should be a wanted child, and that carrying through with unwanted pregnancies and raising unwanted children is contributing to the general downfall of society.  He says “Well-loved children grow into adults who do not build concentration camps, do not rape and do not murder” (He himself is a survivor of Auschwitz).  I have always felt that with the reproductive and adoption options available today, there is no reason for any child to be raised in a household where they are not wanted, valued and cherished.  When you are pregnant, and have made the decision to continue with it, in my mind, you are making the commitment to be the best parent you are capable of being, and if you are not able to make this commitment you shouldn’t even consider raising a child.

As a woman growing up in a different era from my mother, with different options available to me, I cannot fathom what life used to be like for women who found themselves "in trouble", annd I know it is as a result of this man that this is a reality I will never know.  I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge an incredible human being for his hard work, dedication, and substantial sacrifice to a cause that makes an invaluable difference to women in this country every single day.  I can think of no contribution that makes an individual more deserving of the Order of Canada."

 

Froth and frills. You know...nothing that matters :)

2 weekends ago, my bff and I headed out to see a movie. It's a bit of a slow time for movies, so we settled on Jack the Giant Slayer (which turned out to be in 3D!). Visually, it was amazing. Content wise....meh. It was a movie. Not great, not terrible.  The plot was a little thin, the characters fairly undeveloped.  We sat there as the credits rolled, and pondered what the cost of making this kind of movie must have been.  So we looked it up on Wikipedia.  The budget for Jack the Giant Slayer was $195 million.  3 weeks in, it's only made $92 million worldwide (I'm not saying $92 million isn't a lot of money, I'm saying it still represents a $103 million dollar loss).  We couldn't help but speculate, having seen the movie, who the target audience was supposed to be....It was far too scary to take small children to, and while I could be way off base on this, I don't think adults have been clamouring for a big screen interpretation of Jack & the Beanstalk.  It doesn't have the cult-type following of say, Alice in Wonderland or The Wizard of Oz (which, with a budget of $215 million, in 2 weeks has already made $292 million), where lots of adults would see it regardless.  It was just a little perplexing, I guess....

I don't know why more people haven't been talking about it/watching it, but Fox (of all things) has turned out one of the most amazing shows on network television in...a long, long time.  The Following comes on on Monday nights, stars Kevin Bacon (a man weasel-like in appearance, but with the most striking eyes ever), and is IN-CREDIBLE.  It's a serial, so you do need to watch from the beginning, but it's definitely worth getting into.  The characters are amazingly complex, and you're nearly always left not knowing how to feel.  There are periods of the show where EVERY episode has the tension and excitement of a season finale. I don't know how long a show like it can be sustained, but probably at least 2-3 seasons. I definitely recommend it.

I was re-watching Django Unchained the other day, and considering Christoph Waltz's Oscar win for same.  While his performance really is fantastic, it strikes me that his character is pretty much the same keel the whole way through the movie.  And in lots of ways, bears striking resemblance to his other Oscar winning role in Inglorious Basterds.  Amusing, composed, devious, tongue-in-cheek guy.  Leonardo diCaprio, on the other hand, gave what I thought was an incredibly moving, exciting and unpredictable performance, and wasn't even nominated.  I mean, you'll never see him in a movie and think his acting was weak.  But I thought this was one of the better performances I've ever seen him give....(just to mention, this clip has some language in it...depending on your definition of "language")

Several years ago, Scruples stopped making the spray I used to straighten my hair.  This was a bummer because I have preternaturally thick AND oily hair, so it takes me a solid hour to straighten it out, and it tends to get insufferably oily by the next day.  The Scruples was the only product I'd tried that didn't make the problem worse.  So I began a long and arduous search for a new product, and after frustrating the gals at Chatters to no end and making several returns, I settled on KMS Flatout Hot Pressed Spray.  And I've been using it ever since.  But at $17 for 7 oz, it's slightly pricey.  On a whim a couple of weeks ago, I picked up Tresemme Keratin Smooth Heat Protection Shine Spray at Walmart for like...$4-5 for 8 oz.  And honestly, it's amazing.  Like better than the KMS.  It leaves your hair crazy soft and shiny without making it greasy.  I rarely find recommendations for drugstore brands to "replace" salon or name brands to be very credible, but I completely stand behind this one (however, NEVER bother with Tresemme's dry shampoo. It's awful. Suave makes a superior one.)

By the by, I think Kate Middleton is having a boy.

My most recent obsession has become the British annual TV event Big Fat Quiz of the Year.  It's hosted by Jimmy Carr, and is basically a panel quiz show about the year's events.  As I have been laid up recently, I've had all kinds of time to just catch up on stuff I didn't know I was behind on!  Last year's was hilarious (Jack Whitehall and James Corden = fantastic), but any year that has Russell Brand and Noel Fielding is classic.  Jonathan Ross is nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is.

To finish out a very shallow posting, I will leave you with the new Fall Out Boy single, which is already a frontrunner for my favorite song of 2013.  I don't know where they've been but I'm glad they're back :)  The video's not great, the song is gold.

"Don't be afraid of missing opportunities.  Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed." - Lily Tomlin

"Hippos" and emeralds and puppies, oh my!

Hello beautiful flowers.  I know it's been a long time since I've posted.

Last week, in reviewing Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman's new movie Identity Thief, Rex Reed of the New York Observer, managed to work in a number of personal attacks on McCarthy's appearance, that were swiftly rubuked as being cruel, unfair and unneccesary.  And they should have been. Calling an actress doing a job "hippo" and "tractor-sized", among other things, is totally unacceptable and disgusting.  When Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl churn out another of their cringe-inducing romantic "comedies", is their physical appearance a focal point of the reviews?  No.  Nor should it be. Melissa McCarthy doesn't seem to have a problem playing her size for laughs.  That's her prerogative, but it's her call.  Now Rex Reed has the gall to attempt to defend his remarks, but basically comes off as a concern troll, purporting to point these "observations" out for the good of McCarthy's health and all of his very, very serious concerns regarding obesity.  He then has the audacity to pat himself on the back for the movie's decent opening weekend performance, saying his comments are what got butts in the seats, and that McCarthy remaining silent on his bullshit comments shows she's "completely classy."  Melissa McCarthy is aware she's a woman of size.  She's constantly being asked about it, and is constantly forced to publicly acknowledge it.  She doesn't need some small-minded asshole feigning concern about her health as an excuse to take potshots at her.  There are so few people of size successfully working in Hollywood as anything other than "jolly best friend" or "supporting character obsessed with food".  Can we not, as the media-consuming public, just let a few of them have their careers AND their dignity?? Does it have to be one or the other?  I don't think so.  This season on SNL, a comedian named Aidy Bryant joined the cast as a feature player, and while she's a larger woman, they don't play that for laughs, or even acknowledge it as being "different". She simply is given material as any other cast member.  And it doesn't even look difficult!

Last year I took exception to Pantone's declaration of tangerine as Color of the Year for 2012.  It was all for naught, as I never saw it anywhere.  This year's choice of emerald, in my opinion, is far superior.  Not JUST because I look ravishing in green, even if it's not my favorite.

As is my habit, I watched the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show again this year.  And I loved it like I do every year.  One of these days I really ought to get myself a small dog and a pantsuit and practice my slow run.  Anyways...this year's winner was a spunky little Affenpinscher named....wait for it... Banana Joe.  Jeebus.  If that isn't the best name ever, I don't know what is.  His handler was clearly thrilled and said some adorable things like "You don't train an Affenpinscher, you befriend him."  I adore photos that personify love, and this (in my opinion) is one of them :)

This was the first year Jack Russell terriers were shown, and oh my.  Cute city.

Anyways, that's about all right now...Hope you all have a wonderful week, thank you for reading :)


"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy

Year End Wrap-Up

So this was a big year for me in some ways. I am finishing the year in a different job and in a different home than I began it in, and generally, I am very happy with both of these things. 

Favorite Things 2012

- the London Olympics.  This was definitely my favorite thing of the year.
- that Barack Obama won the election.
- finally getting a smartphone.  That shit is life changing.
- the ribs at Swiss Chalet.  Who knew???
- Ikea coming to Winnipeg.  And Famous Dave's.

Favorite Songs 2012

- Some Nights: Fun.  Hands down my favorite.
- Call Me Maybe: Carly Rae Jepsen
- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Taylor Swift (dammit that girl puts out some catchy stuff)
- Girl On Fire: Alicia Keys
- I Love It: Icona Pop
- Diamonds: Rihanna

Favorite Movies 2012

- Hunger Games
- Ted (I never expected to enjoy anything from Seth Macfarlane)
- 21 Jump Street
- Safety Not Guaranteed (kind of hipster, but definitely charming)

Favorite New Shows 2012

- New Girl
- Ben and Kate

Stuff I'm Looking Forward To

- Target!!
- Django Unchained, The Hobbit, This Is 40, the next Hunger Games movie


I guess I don't have as much to say about this year as I did about last year!  Hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, and fulfilling 2013.  All the best :)



Settling dust

So after a crazy, hectic, stressful, and expensive October, I am moved and basically settled into my new place.  And it's perfect.  There's still more furniture I need, and I have nothing up on the walls, but things are good.  I am left wishing I hadn't waited so long to move.

Ikea is going to open it's first store in Winnipeg this week, and though I am an enormous fan of cheap modular furniture, kooky wall art and kitchen gadgets, I just can't bring myself to consider going the first couple months.  Even though I actually need furniture.  In Vancouver, we used to love going to Ikea, either in Richmond or Coquitlam.  And they were both always packed to the gills, any time of the day, any day of the week.  In places that are NOT decidedly cheap and bargain crazy like Winnipeg.  This city gets on the novelty of a new chain like Lindsay Lohan on her car keys after a bottle of Jack and a half dozen Vicodin.  When Swiss Chalet opened back up here again last winter, people were lined up into the parking lot in -20 something weather on a Wednesday night at 9.  For chicken.  It's....kinda sad.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have partnered with the province to produce a media campaign this month for domestic violence awareness.  It's a series of videos (my favorite starring my imaginary boyfriend Glen January) aimed at men, encouraging them to look at domestic violence as a men's issue, and not to be passive bystanders where domestic violence exists.  I am always appreciative of awareness campaigns that are aimed at those who are the most common perpetrators of crime (usually, but not always, men), not the victims or potential victims (usually, but not always, women).  Domestic violence campaigns should be aimed at men and changing patterns of behaviour, not at women telling them how to make escape plans and how to find legal advice (these things are obviously important, but don't fix the root of the problem: a violent individual).  Rape campaigns should be aimed at men and recognizing when things have gone too far and consent hasn't been given, not at women telling them to dress like nuns and abstain from alcohol and never let on that they might enjoy their sexuality.  This government PSA from England is incredibly difficult to watch, but is also incredibly effective and properly targeted.  Accountability for one's own actions is something I think is sorely lacking from the public discourse in regards to these issues.

I love Anthony Bourdain.  I don't remember when it started, but it's been going on for years.  I've read nearly all his books, I'm an avid follower of his TV shows, both No Reservations and The Layover, and will likely follow him to CNN for his new show there.  He's arrogant and rude and often fairly drunk, but he's also earnest and respectful and I have never seen him turn up his nose at something offered to him, no matter what or where.  In the episode he spends in Northern Quebec, some Inuit men take him out seal hunting, and when they return with their kill, the whole family sits around the seal on the kitchen floor, they cut into it, and eat it raw.  They offer Tony the eyeball, as he is the guest, and he doesn't so much as hesitate.  He takes it, pops it in his mouth, swallows and manages not to barf.  I have huge admiration for this.  However, I was watching the episode he did from the Vietnam central highlands last year, and something about it has stuck right in my craw.  He goes to visit some remote hill tribes, still practicing a more traditional way of life.  He takes his cameras there, he films whatever he sees.  And then proceeds to take issue with the fact that there are other white people there doing the same thing.  It went something along the lines of "The American military invaders are long gone, having been replaced by another kind of invader."  He then cuts to a shot of white tourists sitting on the floor of a hut, listening to a couple play instruments and sing.  Evidently, this particular tribe has been courting the tourist dollar with cultural displays and shows.  Tony goes on to say "The tourists come, they spend, they leave.  But what do they take with them?", the implication being that tourism is intractably affecting traditional ways of life, and that what the tourists "take with them" is culture and identity.  Which it may be.  It may not be.  But it sounds as though this is a choice the locals have made.  They are not obliged to be hospitable or accomodating to tourists, but they are clearly taking steps to promote and solicit it.  And is that not their right?  Because their "traditional ways of life" have lasted longer than others, are they obligated to maintain them forever, never changing or adapting?  And if Mr. Bourdain were truly so concerned with the exposure to outsiders these people are enduring, he might consider doing something besides putting them and their community on international TV.  What is he doing besides "coming, spending and leaving"??  Get off your high horse, asshole.


Anyways, that's just about all the ranting I've got in me for tonight.  Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week :)

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein

The home stretch

Between the ages of 18 and 23, I moved around a LOT.  Off the top of my head, I'd say....around.....12 times.  No joke.  I didn't even always have a home for all of that (those parts were spent traveling, not being tragic). Moving didn't seem like a big deal, and I never felt really settled anywhere, so I didn't mind.  Then about 6 and a half years ago, I leased my current apartment, and have spent the meantime becoming almost too settled in my own little corner of the world.  The apartment was dirt cheap when I moved in, much bigger than what I had moved from, I loved my neighbourhood, and my neighbours were wonderful.  But flash forward to now, and while I still love the neighbourhood, the apartment is smaller than I'd like, the rent has increased by 60%, and lots of the wonderful neighbours have moved out and been replaced by inconsiderate, obnoxious Beavis-es.  So that being said, it's time to move.  Which in this city (with it's approximately 0.7 percent apartment vacancy rate) means converting to a somewhat feral, honey-badger-like state.  There's no seeing an apartment, and then thinking a couple of days before applying, you have to be ready to move on it right then.  I'm going to see a few places this week that I'm hopeful about, but in the back of my head I have this feeling that everything will just turn out as it's meant to.  The place I'm meant to have is the place I'll get.  

I'm thus far underwhelmed with the new fall TV.  There were a bunch of shows I was excited to watch, and they've all turned out to be....shows I don't want to watch more than once (Mob Doctor, Partners, 666 Park Avenue, The Mindy Project-I had had particularly high hopes for that one.) Even the season premieres of shows I already love were disappointing (Parks & Rec, The Simpsons, New Girl).  I still have World Without End on the PVR, unwatched.  I'm afraid if I watch it, the whole fall season will be a wash.  Then I would have to like...read.  Or get hobbies.  Or something.

So, I have kind of a thing for older men.  I have as long as I can remember.  Sean Connery is a perennial favorite (pun intended?).  But Liam Neeson....oh my.  How he's 60 years old, I will never understand.  And it was for charity!  And he smells good!

 
Now for the political snippets!  Everyone's favorite!

- Justin Trudeau announced last week that he will run for the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada.  I think he might be the only one who can bring them back from the brink of obscurity.  I also think a resurgence of the Liberals is in the Canadian political best interest.  The more we become an NDP/Conservative dichotomy, the more we risk an "us vs. them" mentality, and becoming a divided nation like our beloved neighbours to the south.  Some TV political analyst pointed out that older people will vote for him because they remember his dad, and that younger people will vote for him because he's young and smiley.  Win-win.

- Speaking of which, some plucky Conservative asshole decided to open up a large and unnecessary can of worms by proposing to study feasibility of changes to the Criminal Code regarding when a fetus can be considered a "person", which by extension, could obviously threaten a woman's right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.  It was struck down, fairly conclusively (203-91), but the fracking Minister for the Status of Women voted FOR it.  I'm frankly surprised this petition calling for her resignation only has 6100 signatures.

Anyways, I think that's about all.  For now.  Hope everyone is enjoying this gorgeous fall week :)




"That thing between your legs only turns into an elbow if you let it"